Monday, October 6, 2008

. . . SINGLE AMBITIONED LADIES. . .




I'll keep talking and sounding my horn against the present scourge that has taken over the young female populace and the society - who is the master conveyor of this problem. I keep getting questions as "when do you intend getting married", "what'll be the colour of your 'aso-ebi"and "when are the bells gona ring?" instead of "What creative ideas do you have mapped out as a graduate" or "Have you started work?" All of a sudden, sistas have lost it, none of us seem to have dreams and ambitions anymore.

As a graduate from the uni., i've been opportuned to meet and interact with sistas whose attitudes towards life after their university degree is lackadaisical. To think that i'll successfully go through the storms and hurdles involved in getting a degree in Nigeria and not fight back by having a staggering punch-back?...No way! Back in the days as a secondary school girl, the female university students were very industrious..They always had a calculated infomation to give their folks and their minds were busy as a factory. Discussions revolved on what they wanted to be and issues concerning the society.
Unfortunately, this isn't the case anymore. That generation of gutsy women have since grown up, achieved their dreams, got married and had kids who in turn have grown into the present generation of lilly-livered, no-job-seeking, no-potential-building, single-ambitioned ladies which is to get married! Now don't get me wrong. . . there still are ladies out there who are still driven by determination, make something out of nothing and whose brains still work round the clock like factories; however, the percentage of these few is very small compared to that of the single ambitioned sistas- this is the crux of my concern.


Shortly before university, i had ideas of what i wanted out of life; i had creative ideas and a heaven-high list of sure opportunities and choices. During the first half of my days in school, i was eager and quick to tell anyone who cared to listen to me; of course... talk they say is cheap so i rattled away to my 'interviewers'. By the second half 'tori' begin change. I became the sole occupant paddling my canoe. The consciousness of the age and marriage syndrome had taken over the industrious spirit- "Why break your head about your future when you can hook on to an unsuspecting broda thereby securing your future?"


Nobody prays for one's husband to die, become physically maimed or decide to divorce you but. . . what if one of these happens- what next?


A sista who at least had something going before and after she got 'hooked' would have something to fall back on. Some ladies even take this deal to the extreme by staying idle even after years of marriage. I tell you- no matter how rich and wealthy your husband is,. . . at death his relatives ( in the villa) will ensure you get none of it- afterall you've been idling away on his money, now he's dead...it's their turn! If he divorces you it'll even hit you harder cos we're in a society where the payement of alimoney doesn't work.


This is my advice- stay away and keep as few friends as possible(if they have characters you can emulate) who seem to fall in the 'SINGLE-AMBITONED' category, have more of the gutsy,round-the-clock friends and DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN TOO MANY 'ASO-EBI's'- THEY TAG THE NUMBER OF CONJUGATIONS YOU'VE WITNESSED WHILE YOU REMAIN THE SINGLE ONE. Don't be tuned by the society or envy your colleagues or course-mates who are married cos all these people are only present at the ceremony; they wont be around when the excitement of early marriage had gone sour and you are home alone doing nothing while they have places of work to go everyday.


A word is enough for a sister. . .

13 comments:

bumight said...

u're very spot on!
I went to a wedding recently and I greeted one of the women there and the next thing she said was; "ur time'll soon come, this time next year we'll be celebrating your own"

I had to say "no ma!" while trying no to be rude!
I DONT want to get married next year! why do people just assume that's all there is to a girl's life?

Afronuts said...

This is quite a rare advice I think ladies should take serious.
And its hitting the truth on the head!

I hope the ladies in the house get to read this..

y'Jasmine said...

@ afronuts: i really hope they do. Even i kip readin it to myself...u know sey writer no fit do opposite of wetin im write?

2 bumight: im sure d woman's anticipation cared less of ur home's upkeep but party opportunites lined out for her...lol..i taya o

Sting said...

This is so true. Somebody needs to slap this information into the heads of some chics.

Society has a role to play in how females all of a sudden become super interested in getting married after a certain age. It's sad.

LG said...

lolll @...DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN TOO MANY 'ASO-EBI's'
but babes na true u talk o'
how 'dat' pastor dey talk am sef?... make pesin (due to rush rush) nor go marry him 'boyfriend' instead of him 'husband' :-)

ibiluv said...

i like!!!!!!!!!!

LG said...

i demand an UPDATE :-) :-)
just checking up on u dear'
hope all is well

doug said...

Your post is full of common sense. If only they would listen...
Nice blog

Goldfish said...

it is a GIVEN that after school, after NYSC, it is time to marry for a girl.
so, imagine the shock my friend who returned from South Africa gave her family...wen after her Master's, and a plum job in Lagos, she was not keen on marriage yet... I'm sure someone went to an oracle to find answers to her 'madness'. It's an African (black) thing.

LG said...

nne' odikwa nma???

Danny Bagucci said...

Guess sometimes the pressure is due more to mums than anything else.. Between November and Dcember I had to sit thru several hours of skype calls from three different female friends of mine.. .all because their moms were on their case about getting married.. so maybe women folk need to reorientate their minds on the subject........

sleek n' catty said...

Good Read...
But I think this thought process has been prevalent in women even years ago. It mainly the societal pressures we face as women. Personally, I am tired of hearing friends croon about marriage already..

Jaguda said...

best advice i have read in 09. welldone. ladies take note